Listen, I hate having to do this, but I feel I have no other option. So sit down and strap yourself in while I put on my sternest mummy voice.
Harvard University, I'm very cross with you right now. No actually, not cross, more just…
You see, I’ve read all about that study. You know, the one which found that daughters of working mums end up more successful in their careers and sons end up contributing more to household duties when they are older.
While I find this mildly interesting, I mostly find the research pointless. It does little to remove any guilt a working mother may have. It doesn’t make missing key events, milestones and school activities any easier. It doesn’t make it any less heartbreaking to walk away from a hysterical toddler begging you not to leave them at preschool.
The worst part though? The comments I'm seeing on social media in relation to the study are along the lines of bagging one mother's parenting decision to big note another's. Mothers using the research to justify their own choices while (and not always intentionally) putting down another.
Motherhood is enough of a roller coaster as it is without us turning on each other. We need to be less Lord Of the Flies and more Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte.
Obviously I'm all for mothers who want to return to work or start a business of their own. The Mothers Den is a support community for mums who want to pursue an entrepreneurial dream, after all. But I also believe that every mother is remarkable and every mother deserves to live her best life, as defined by her.
We should stand together and support each other’s decisions, not be divided by them. So you take your Harvard study and stick it, along with all the other unhelpful, divisive research on how the children of stay at home mums perform better in exams, how breastfed babies are more intelligent and how babies who co-sleep grow up with higher self esteem and more independence than those who don’t.
I, for one, am no longer listening.
I would love to hear your thoughts. Do you find these types of studies helpful? Join the conversation on Facebook or send me an email, from one united mum to another.
Be Brave, Live Fierce
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